Pretty's Bacon-Wrapped Dates 4 Ways - Episode 10

MATT: As you approach the exterior of the Soot and Swill, it's that time of night where it's loud. It is crowded. There are people in there coming in from their day-long shifts. It is raining out in the streets, but it is warm and dry on the inside. As you hit the threshold within, you're immediately hit with the smell of a lot of people who've been working hard through the day, as well as many drinks, some food, and the sounds of laughter and a few odd turns as you enter. There you see, at one of the tables, right in the center of the room, sitting down, is Pretty. No one's sitting at the table around. He has the tiniest of bow ties (awwing) that is tied around his wide ogre neck. It looks to be extended with multiple ribbons to make it all the way around, that don't match the coloration of the pale blue. On the table, you see three small boxes. (awwing) As you enter, he looks up, "Hi."
ASHLEY: Hello, Pretty.
MATT: "Told you!" You see, around the room, about seven or eight other figures go (sigh) and they pull out coin and set it on the table. He's like, "Hmph! Hi."
MARISHA: Hello, Pretty.
MATT: "You actually came."
ASHLEY: Of course.
LAURA: Of course, yeah.
MATT: Smiles with this big, toothy grin, and he pushes the boxes forward.

[LATER]

LAURA: Pretty.

MATT: Looks up and the rain hits his face a bit and he just exhales deeply. "Yes?"

LAURA: This has been a wonderful, wonderful night.

MATT: "I agree."

MARISHA: Thank you for dinner. It was fantastic.

MATT: "Well, it's quite literally all I do." (laughter) "I must say, this has been an unexpected pleasure. I enjoy your company and friendship deeply. But I just think we're different--" (laughter)"-- kinds of people. Please, do not misunderstand." (laughter) "I just--" (laughs) Goddamn it.

TRAVIS: Let 'em down easy.

MATT: "I just think you three have a lot of the world before you to see. I don't know."

MARISHA: Oh, we can still be friends.

MATT: "Of course. Please come visit."

ASHLEY: Is there any advice that you would have for me? Maybe I-- something was off that, you know, for the next time around I could--

MATT: He kneels down, his knee splashing into a puddle, and it scatters off to the side. Puts his right hand onto your left shoulder and gets down to eye level and looks at you with a big grin and goes, "You're wonderful just how you are. Just not meant to be."

Campaign 3 Episode 10, "Ghosts, Dates, and Darker Fates," January, 13, 2022
Thanks to critrole.fandom.com for the transcript from the episode shown above.

Pretty's Bacon-Wrapped Dates 4 Ways

I'm invested in your happiness now.

I've decided that Pretty is the official mascot of this blog. He's just too cute, and like super smart and cultured. So I simply had to celebrate him and his 'dates' (get it?)! I had never had bacon-wrapped dates before, personally, but in my research, I discovered that the recipe is pretty straightforward, and kinda hard to mess up. I had always heard that this was a bit of a high-end appetizer, so when I put them together, fairly inexpensively, and easily, honestly, it left me wondering what all the fuss was about. 

I gave everyone who went on the date their own... date. (Except for F.C.G. but he can't eat anyway) Fearne is a little nutty and a little cheesy, so she gets the cheese and almonds. Laudna is a little nutty, so her is almonds only. Imogen is a little cheesy, with her acting and her walking around pretending to be scared of ghosts, so hers is the cheese one. Pretty's is the basic one without filling... because honestly, he might be the most straightforward one at the table, and there's nothin' wrong with that!

This is a great appetizer if you are someone who likes maple syrup on your bacon. And I don't mean like "oh a little syrup got on the bacon oh well," and I don't mean "maple-glazed bacon," I mean you dip your bacon in maple syrup and prefer it that way. And then also people who like a lot of different kinds of cheese. It's got a lot goin' on and it won't be for everyone, but if you've never had one, I encourage you to give 'em a shot!

Ingredients

• 4 Dates (with pits)
• Goat Cheese
• Salted Roasted Almonds
• 2 Slices of Bacon

You can of course multiply this recipe as many times as you like to accommodate how many dates you'd like to make. What is listed above is the minimum to make them 4 different ways.

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Cut the dates so that they fold open - do not cut all the way through to give you 2 halves, rather cut them open on one side and remove the pit
2. Leave one date empty
3. Fill one date with 2-3 almonds
4. Fill one date with about a teaspoon of goat cheese (or however much will 'fill' it)
5. Fill the last date with 1-2 almonds and about 1/2 teaspoon of goat cheese (or again, however much will 'fill' it)
6. Cut your strips of bacon in half (so they are half as long as they used to be. This will be about long enough to go around the date with a little extra)
7. Wrap the date in the bacon and secure it with a toothpick
8. Bake for 20 minutes, turning halfway through

   

Tips, Suggestions, and Substitutions

Tips & Suggestions

• If you REALLY like your maple syrup, you can brush the bacon with syrup before baking them to make it extra maple-y. (Also if you really like maple syrup you should try my "Why I love Maple Syrup," Salmon, inspired by Fearne!)
• If the bacon doesn't look cooked all the way through, giving them a few more minutes won't hurt, and it'll crisp up the bacon more than it will do anything else. 
• If you decide to do multiple fillings, I suggest marking them with toothpick colors so that way you know which ones may or may not have nuts (the cheese is pretty easy to see, but the nuts are iffy).

Substitutions

• You can use other nuts other than almonds, I heard pecans work too, but I prefer almonds.
• You can also use other cheese besides goat cheese, but you'll still want to keep it something sort of crumbly, like bleu or feta. 

In Conclusion...

I'll be honest. I wasn't a fan here. My partner wasn't either. But we don't believe it was the fault of the recipe, this just isn't what we're into! But, if you are someone who enjoys sort of all of the textures and flavors at once - sweet and salty, crunchy and creamy (especially with the nuts) then I really do suggest giving these a try. And they really are easy to make. I didn't use any one recipe for this one, I found several and discovered they were all basically the same. Not a bad thing, it means that it's hard to screw up, which is one of my favorite kinds of recipes. 

If you do make this, and if you end up liking them, please let me know! And tell me what exactly you liked and why they appeal to you. In the meantime, if you have any questions or suggestions, or if you wanna say hello, please feel free to do so in the comments below. I'm around on Pinterest or Twitter, if those kinds of things are your jam and if you're lookin' for some fun content. Thanks for visiting, and don't forget to love each other. Is it Thursday, yet?

You'll find your special someone. One day. And when you do, bring them by and I'll make you all a meal.

Original character art by Hannah at @agarthanguide on Twitter.