Post-Heist Lentil Soup - Episode 20

LIAM: Hey, are you alive?
TRAVIS: I think so.
LIAM: Can you roll over here?
TRAVIS: Yeah. (quick footsteps)
MARISHA: Watch the eyes.
TRAVIS: Which eyes?
MATT: Roll another dexterity saving throw as you come back through the statues to get to the door.
TRAVIS: Oh, goddamn it. 18.
MATT: 18, okay, that is another success. This time, you're like, "All right!" And dart right as they... Okay, that's not too bad. You take six points of lightning damage.
TRAVIS: You'd think I'd learn.
MATT: As you tuck and roll, over the shoulder, onto the ground, hitting one other stray ball bearing that cracks into the middle of your shoulder blade, but you get back up on your feet.
TRAVIS: Metal!
MATT: Joining both Fearne and Orym over to the other side.
TRAVIS: How have you done?
LIAM: Get in, get in, get in! We think we found-- it's down.
TRAVIS: Okay, I took care of two of them already.
ASHLEY: Great job.
SAM: Well done. Sorry for the subterfuge.
TRAVIS: No worries, let's do this.
LIAM: Okay, now as we close the door, I catch the opening to the bag of the flour in the top of the door.
ASHLEY: Lentils?
LIAM: No, you're holding the lentils, so the flour, the top of the bag is now clasped in the doorway, and I push the rest of the sack against the ceiling and I pull a dagger out of the back of my boot and I jam it as hard as I can to hold the bottom of the bag up, and I take out my other one and get the other corner, so anyone who comes through here is getting antiqued, and then I hop down, and as we leave, I start spreading lentils on the first three or four steps.
ASHLEY: We're not making soup?
LIAM: Once we get the job done.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay. I'll help, I'll help.
SAM: Lentil help, lentil help, lentil help.
MATT: All righty, great.

Campaign 3 Episode 20, "Breaking and Entering...," April, 14, 2022
Thanks to critrole.fandom.com for the transcript from the episode shown above.

Post-Heist Lentil Soup

Pock O'Pea

I felt bad for poor Fearne not getting her Lentil soup, so I decided to solve the problem. Plus, after this heist... they are almost certainly going to need something hearty and filling to fix 'em up. The way the last episode ended, I won't lie, I'm a little worried. 

I really did enjoy this soup. It uses spices that I almost never cook with, personally, and was something that I thought was really unique! Plus I hear it freezes really well, so if you don't want to eat it all in the next couple of days (or don't have enough people), pop it in the freezer, either all at once, or in individual servings to pull out as you need 'em. 

I didn't grow up eating lentils, personally. My partner did, and now he can't stand them. I think they're cute, and I like the texture. They're pretty versatile! They are also in the same family as peas... Pock O'Peas... wink. Okay, enough with the lead-up, what's say we make some soup?

Ingredients

• Olive oil
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 3 cloves of garlic, minced
• 2 medium carrots, peeled and diced (a little over a cup total)
• 2 celery ribs, diced (again, a little over a cup total)
• 14 oz can of crushed or diced tomatoes
• 2 cups of dry green lentils
• 7 cups of vegetable broth
• 1/2 teaspoon of ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon of ground coriander
• 1 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• 1 dried bay leaf
• 2 cups of fresh spinach, cut to ribbons
• 2 Tablespoons of lemon juice (or about 1 lemon's worth of juice)
• Salt and pepper to taste

Coriander & Olive Oil not pictured

Directions

1. Prep your vegetables: chop the onion. Wash, peel, and dice the carrots. Wash and dice the celery. Mince the garlic. Wash the spinach (you can cut it to ribbons now or wait until just before you put it in, whatever is easier for you). Rince your lentils (put them in a strainer, run some water over them, make sure you don't have any extra non-lentil material)
2. Heat a drizzle of olive oil (about 2 tablespoons) in a large pot over medium heat
3. Once hot, add onions, garlic, carrots, and celery to the pot. Cook for about 4-5 minutes, stirring frequently. 
4. Add the can of tomatoes, lentils, vegetable broth, cumin, coriander, paprika, and bay leaf to the pot.
5. Bring to a boil then lower to a simmer and cook for 30 minutes
6. Chop your spinach if you haven't already, then add it to the pot once the 30 minutes have elapsed, along with the lemon juice.
7. Cook for about 2 more minutes to allow the spinach to wilt.
8. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve warm.

     

Tips, Suggestions, and Substitutions

Tips & Suggestions

• Pro-tip: a lot of soups in the world start with carrots, celery, and onion. And this actually has a name: mirepoix (pronounced mirh-pwah). It's french and typically consists of 2 parts onion, 1 part carrot, and 1 part celery. If you're looking to make a soup from scratch, this is a great place to start. You can learn more here. 
• If you want a creamier soup, you can stick an immersion blender in for a little bit to squish some of the lentils. Feel free to blend to your heart's content. Alternatively, you can take about 2 cups of soup, pulse them in a blender, and then return them back to the pot, if you don't have an immersion blender.

Substitutions

• I accidentally didn't have coriander on hand when I made this. I double the cumin and thought it tasted great, so this is a good solution if you don't have coriander around.
• I found petite diced tomatoes which for me rode the perfect line between diced and crushed. I recommend it. 

In Conclusion...

I really enjoyed this soup, personally! I have nothing against lentils, I just don't have a lot of experience cooking with them. I don't think I'll get a lot of practice either, since my partner isn't a fan, but maybe my dnd crew would enjoy the soup? Or, maybe yours would! This turned out to be really easy to make. And my partner still tried it. To quote him, "The broth is great! If I liked lentils, I would love this soup." So, there's that - about as high praise as you can expect for someone who doesn't like lentils. 

This recipe is a mix of a couple of similar ones that I found on Nora Cooks and Recipe Tin Eats. This recipe is also explicitly vegetarian and vegan, which is pretty awesome too! Let me know if you give it a try, won't you? And, if you have any questions or suggestions, or just wanna say hi, all of those things can go in the comments below. Or, you can also follow me on Pinterest , Twitter, or Instagram if you like using those platforms because I hang around there too and would love to hear from you. Thanks for visiting, and don't forget to love each other. Is it Thursday, yet?

Lentil help, lentil help, lentil help.