ROBBIE: (groans)
MATT: Okay! Make a sleight of hand check.
SAM: No!
ROBBIE: He's on guard!
LIAM: My soul just left my body.
LAURA and ROBBIE: Yep.
ROBBIE: This is it.
TRAVIS: This is what I'm here for.
ROBBIE: This is it.
LIAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
TALIESIN: Bring it!
ROBBIE: Let the fates decide.
TRAVIS: Up to the dice.
LIAM: Let chaos reign across all campaigns.
TALIESIN: It's punching time.
ROBBIE: Fuck.
LAURA: Is it, is it--?
MARISHA: It's good. It's good. It's good.
LAURA: Oh, it's good. It's good. It's good.
ASHLEY: 21.
MATT: As you spin, the music picks up, there's a crescendo and a crash of the cymbal and he spins you. As he does, you grab just a little bit tighter than it was expected on his thumb, and you feel a pop like you had popped the thumb out of socket a little bit and the ring slips off in your grasp. So while it doesn't go unnoticed, it didn't seem overt. He (grunts) reaches down for a second and takes the hand and looks up at you with like a--(frustrated sigh)
MARISHA: Who's got the ring? You've got the ring?
ROBBIE: I have the ring!
MATT: At which point Gavis is now coming towards you to take your hand while you feel the ring in your left. What do you do?
LAURA: Drop it, Fearne.
ASHLEY: (pinging)
SAM: Oh jesus.
ROBBIE: Don't drop it!
LAURA: Dorian! Dorian! Dorian, pick up the ring!
MATT: This is the moment of transition--
LAURA: Dorian, pick up the ring!
MATT: -- as the cymbal crashes hit, and you're transitioning out of it, and you see--
LAURA: Pick up the ring!
MATT: -- Fearne being tossed away from Armand and a little point of silver just on the ground.
ASHLEY: I'm going to pretend I don't notice and start dancing with Gavis.
SAM: Among feet?
LAURA: Notice it! Notice it! Save the day!
ROBBIE: Why do I need to pick up the ring? I have the right one!
LAURA: Dorian, notice he dropped it and save the day! Switch the ring!
ROBBIE: Fine! I will-- Is it the transition?
MATT: This is just happening right at the middle of the transition.
MARISHA: Sleight of hand, bitch, you got some sleight of hand, come on!
ROBBIE: I will push past everyone-- (laughs) God!
LAURA: Yes!
ROBBIE: And walk straight up to him in a tango-esque fashion.
LAURA: No, no, no! Pick up the ring from the fucking ground!
ROBBIE: I have the correct ring, trust me!
LAURA: No, but he has to see that you picked--
ROBBIE: Trust me, Imogen! Can I shut her out of my brain?
MATT: You can.
SAM: Yeah!
ROBBIE: I shut Imogen out of my brain, and as I approach--
MATT: Armand has spun around and holding his thumb and is looking on the ground at this point over in the loose vicinity before glancing over at you as you approach.
ROBBIE: I have, in the transition, pulled the tracking ring out of my pocket, and I have it in my dancing hand and I approach Armand, and as I do, I clock the ring and I try to kick it off the dance floor. His ring. Just get it out of view.
Campaign 3 Episode 13, "A Dance of Deception," February 10, 2022
Thanks to critrole.fandom.com for the transcript from the episode shown above.
Who's Got the (Onion) Rings?
You are an extremely clumsy dancer!
How about that ring situation huh? Whoo! But, it sure did make for some quality entertainment. We were shouting at the screen in our house, how about you?
As the episode drew to a close, onion rings were a somewhat obvious choice for me to do, which I was okay with. I am lukewarm on onion rings in general from restaurants, but if I'm in the mood they can be quite good. And this homemade version was very straightforward and an easy repeat if I find I have extra onions lying around. But, in this instance, just making onion rings was no fun... so I had to make sauces to go with them... in fact, when all was said and done, I had 8 dips - one for each of the dips in this currently-unnamed crew! (Text can be difficult to convey tone, so please note this is a joke as I call all of these characters dips, meaning just not very intelligent. However, to be fair, Chetney has the highest intelligence at a 15 (pretty good!), followed by Orym at a 13(okay!), but from there it drops off real fast (not great).)
So the onion rings are the star of the show this week, but I am going to include the ingredients and measurements for each of the dips that I used or made. All of these can be great options for a party! Whip up the onion rings, heat up some chicken tenders, get some fries and/or chips, and slice some veggies - you can set up your own little dip bar! And I'll leave it up to you to decide how and if you want to assign a dip-character to which dip-sauce. Let's Dip In!
Ingredients
- Cooking Spray
- 1 medium onion (yellow or white)
- 1 cup panko or whole wheat bread crumbs
- 1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese (the finer the grate the better)
- 2 teaspoons of garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon paprika
- 1 teaspoon dried oregano
- 1 teaspoon dried basil
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon of pepper
- 3 large eggs beaten
- 1 cup of all-purpose flour
- Dipping Sauces!!!
Directions
- Preheat the oven to 425 and spray a baking sheet with non-stick spray.
- In a large bowl mix well the bread crumbs, parmesan, and seasonings
- In a separate large bowl put the cup of flour.
- In a third large bowl put in the 3 eggs, and beat well.
- Cut the onion crosswise into about 1/2 inch slices. Push the layers to get the rings
- Coat the onion first in flour, then egg, then bread crumb mixture and place on baking sheet. Make sure it's well coated.
- Bake for 10-15 minutes, flipping halfway through, until golden on both sides.
Tips, Suggestions, and Substitutions
Tips & Suggestions
- There is such a thing as an onion that is too big. The one I picked up was a "large onion," because I thought that would be a good idea. It was really more like two smaller onions, and not very circular, and was really not ideal for onion rings.
- Really really make sure you coat the onion rings well for the best crunch and flavor.
- Try and get the finest parmesan cheese you can, or grate it as finely as possible yourself. It will incorporate with the breadcrumbs better this way.
Substitutions
- Something that I wish I had time for, but I ran out - I wanted to try other circular vegetables, like zucchini or squash, and cook them alongside the onion rings. For one I think it would be comical because now you have imposter onion rings! How fitting. (Shout out to my partner for this idea)
- I'm including the directions to make a LOT of dipping sauces before, but I encourage you to mix and match if you try to make your own sauce bar. A couple of my sauces were straightforward, but you could always diversify and make more from scratch, or keep it simple, and make almost none of them from scratch. But dip bars are fun, and let people find their favorite flavors.
- 1/4 cup mayonnaise
- 1 Tablespoon Ketchup
- 1 Tablespoon Hot Sauce
- 1/2 Teaspoon Worcestershire
- 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/8 teaspoon black pepper
- 1 Tablespoon ranch dressing
- 3 Tablepoons sour cream
- 1/4 teaspoon chipotle chili powder
- 1/8 teaspoon cayenne
- 1/8 teaspoon salt
- 1/8 garlic powder
- 1/4 cup ketchup
- 1/2 teaspoon hot sauce
- 1/4 teaspoon chile powder
- 1/4 cup mayo
- 1 tablespoon ketchup
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
- 1/8 teaspoon ground cayenne
- 1 small clove or garlic - minced
- 1 Tablespoon lime juice
- 1/4 cup mayo
- 1/8 cup ketchup
- 1/2 Tablespoon Horseradish
- 1/4 teaspoon paprika
- 1/8 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
- 1/4 cup mayo
- 1 tablespoon ketchup
- 1/4 tablespoon red wine vinegar
- 1/2 teaspoon cajun seasoning
- 1/4 teaspoon sugar
In Conclusion...
I did enjoy the onion rings, and appreciated that they were pretty easy to make (except for... you know, the fact that the onion was actually too big). And I can definitely see myself making these again. I have most of the ingredients for them on hand basically all of the time, so it would be really easy for me to whip them up pretty quickly! I also plan to revisit the sauces in the future. They were so fun! Some of them weren't for us (too spicy, not a fan of horseradish, etc), but different people like different things! Find your favorite, and let me know which one it is in the comments. Or, if you just wanna say hi, or have a question you can put those down there too!
The onion ring recipe came from Tasty.co, and I didn't change anything as I wanted to try the recipe as it was. The dipping sauces came from all over the place - I lost track. These things were all kinds of fun to put together while watching the "big game," last Sunday. Maybe they'll bo good for your next big game, whether that's a sports event, your dnd campaign!
Last couple of things: you can follow me on Pinterest or Twitter, if you hang around those parts, and if you want to! And I still plan to be around next week even though CR is taking the week off (and I already have a recipe planned!) Thanks for visiting, and don't forget to love each other. Is it Thursday, yet?
"Did she just get engaged?!" "I was just going to tell her congratulations!"
Original character art of Dorian, Orym, Imogen, Fresh Cut Gress, and Fearne by Hannah at @agarthanguide on Twitter.
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