Taliesin: Yeah that tracks.
Liam: He just sharpened it.
Sam: So that's a seven.
Campaign 3, Episode 1, "The Draw of Destiny," October 21, 2021
Kitchen Knives Hate Tomatoes Sauce
Smiley day to you!
It's not too surprising that in Episode 1 a lot of food was mentioned. From vegetables and eggs to breakfast beer, and even copper coins. But one food specifically caught my eye, the spiritual weapon of Fresh Cut Grass (F.C.G. for short). Sam's logic here was flawless, so I made it a goal to get a recipe to fit the scenario, and this is what I got! This recipe is fitting for a couple of reasons. First, even though we have 3 kinds of tomatoes, we never use a knife. Second, these tomatoes all come in cans! I only wish I could have donated said cans to F.C.G. to eat!
This recipe is something that I call a "cook while you play," recipe. Meaning you can do all of the steps to get the recipe going and then, while you play your favorite TTRPG, the food will continue to cook, develop flavor, and end up super worth the wait. In this case, the tomato sauce simmers for 4 hours, so depending on how your gaming sessions go, when it's done you can call it a day, or just take a break, and then keep going! This makes a large amount by default - about 10 servings, so it's good for large adventuring parties. Or, save it for later - it freezes really well too, so you can make a bunch and always have it on hand.
Ingredients
- 1 pound Italian Sausage (I used mild, but get as spicy as you like!)
- 1 pound lean ground beef
- 1 large sweet onion - diced
- 5 cloves of garlic, minced
- 1 large green bell pepper - chopped to resemble blades of grass but still bite-sized pieces
- 2 Tbsp granulated sugar
- 2 tsp dried Italian seasoning
- 1 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp pepper
- 1/3 cup fresh chopped parsley
- 12 oz tomato paste
- 15 oz canned diced fire-roasted tomatoes
- 28 oz crushed tomatoes
- 1/2 cup chicken (or veggie) broth
My favorite part of this recipe is the green bell pepper. Not only because we are all about hiding vegetables in this house, but because when I sliced them, I left the pieces pretty long, and tried to make them relatively thin to mimic blades of grass! If you are like me and enjoy things a little bit more on the Fresh side of Fresh Cut Grass, take a zucchini and a vegetable peeler and make some zucchini ribbons. (You can also use a spiralizer if you have one). Toss the zucchini in a little bit of olive oil and cook on the stovetop for about 5 minutes, or until warmed through. These "zoodles" are a great replacement for noodles and are even similar in texture! Here's how my green peppers turned out if you're looking for a reference.
Directions
- Heat a large pot (at least 8 quarts), over medium-high heat. Add your ground beef and Italian sausage and cook until browned and cooked through about 15 minutes. Drain fat from the meat and set the meat aside, either on a plate or a bowl, just somewhere other than the pot. Return the pot to the stove.
- Reduce heat to medium. Add the diced onion, garlic, and chopped bell pepper to the pot (no need to add any extra oil, the leftover fat from the meat will handle this). Cook about 5-7 minutes, or until onions are softer.
- Return the meat to the pot and add sugar, Italian seasoning, salt, pepper, parsley, and tomato paste. Stir to combine.
- Pour in diced and crushed tomatoes and broth. Stir until well combined. Reduce heat to maintain the simmer (likely to one of the lowest settings on your stove), and let the sauce simmer for 1-4 hours.
- Use it right away, or cool and freeze for later!
To complete the Warforged/Robot/Atomoton effect, we put the pasta on Rotini because it resembles screws.
Tips, Suggestions, and Substitutions
Tips & Suggestions
- You could, in theory, add the onion, garlic, and green pepper before you drain the meat to get them all cooking together, but it comes down to your preference. I wanted to keep them separate, but combining them won't hurt anything, but it might increase the cooking time, depending on how big your pot and stove are.
- I stirred the sauce every 30-60 minutes while it was simmering just to keep things heated all of the way through and keep anything from accidentally burning to the bottom of the pot. This isn't a recipe that I would feel confident leaving alone for the entire four simmering hours, but you also don't need to hover around the kitchen either.
- I've estimated that this makes about 10 servings, but it will vary depending how much sauce you use and how much pasta you have to cover. But this should make at least ten 1/2 cups of sauce (estimated).
Substitutions
- You could likely swap in other kinds of meat such as ground chicken. I would not recommend leaving out the meat altogether as a portion of the flavor does come from it. Not to say that this couldn't be made vegetarian ("you can certainly try!"), but I do think there are likely better vegetarian options out there.
- If you're the experimental type, you can try adding in other things that you like in spaghetti sauce such as mushrooms, or basil.
In Conclusion...
If you are a fan of jarred spaghetti sauce, this is a solid option! You'll know exactly what's in it, and you can take pride in making it yourself. If I got to choose between this recipe and a jarred recipe, and I had the time to kill, I would absolutely make this before opening a jar. But again, if you make it ahead of time, it can definitely be worth it! Plus, who doesn't love smelling simmering tomatoes while you're rolling initiative?
This recipe was based on The Best Homemade Spaghetti Sauce recipe found on Bellyfull.net. I added the 'fresh cut' bell pepper and adjusted a few of the steps.
Please let me know if you try out this recipe! I would love to hear how you made this recipe your own, if you added your own ingredients, or if you like this better than other sauces you've tried. As always, if you have any comments, questions, or suggestions, please leave them in the comments below. Remember to follow me on Pinterest or Twitter, if those kinds of things are your jam. Thanks for visiting, and don't forget to love each other. Is it Thursday, yet?
"I just feel like there's a lot of broken people out there and I can do a lot to help them, that's all."
Kitchen Knives Hate Tomatoes Sauce
Ingredients
Instructions
- Heat a large pot over medium-high heat. Add your ground beef and Italian sausage and cook until browned and cooked through (about 15 minutes). Drain fat from the meat and set the meat aside. Return the pot to the stove.
- Reduce heat to medium. Add the onion, garlic, and bell pepper to the pot. Cook about 5-7 minutes, or until onions have softened.
- Return the meat to the pot and add sugar, Italian seasoning, salt, pepper, parsley, and tomato paste. Stir to combine.
- Pour in diced and crushed tomatoes and broth. Stir until well combined. Reduce heat to maintain the simmer, and let the sauce simmer for 1-4 hours.
- Use immediately on your favorite pasta or pasta replacement. Or cool to room temperature and freeze to save for later!
Notes:
For tips, suggestions, and substitutions, please refer to the article.
Nutrition Facts
Calories
329Fat (grams)
16.3Sat. Fat (grams)
5.3Carbs (grams)
19.2Fiber (grams)
4.8Sugar (grams)
12.8Protein (grams)
26.8Sodium (milligrams)
871Cholesterol (grams)
79These are approximations. This recipe should make at least ten 1/2 cups.
Original character art of Fresh Cut Grass by Hannah at @agarthanguide on Twitter.
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